The Bar: How to Keep the Romance Alive

Let's make Thea happy.

I know that there are more important things going on in politics right now, but Thea—our lovely hostess—has asked that I present one simple solution for one step towards world peace. Starting with the bar at Tacolicious.

First of all, I present The Situation:

It’s a busy Friday night, a crowd of people three deep everywhere you look. A couple comes in and asks Thea for a table, which perhaps, in the most excruciating case, requires an hour wait. “But!” she says—all smiles despite on the inside she’s a tough Brooklyn cookie that can kick some West Coast butt (an important quality in a Friday night hostess)—”We have a couple of seats that are about to be available at the bar.” Smile, smile. Pleading, hopefully convincing, smile.

The couple holds hands, looks lovingly into each other’s eyes, and politely declines because well, they’re determined to have a nice time tonight. Not slum it at the bar.

Now, on behalf of my client (Thea), allow me to present my argument:

Sitting at the bar is romantic. And beyond romantic, it’s practical. In fact, when Joe and I go out to dinner anywhere, we always sit at the bar. I actually don’t think it’s good for our relationship to be sitting at a table. At a loud restaurant, Joe can’t hear me (conversation must be able to flow and yelling at each other is not romantic). At a table, I can’t sigh deeply, because, of course, we’re soooo in love, and lean my head on his shoulder. We can’t share food as easily (the Lady and the Tramp would have been well advised to do the spaghetti move at a counter). I also can’t slyly finish off the last of his margarita/glass of wine without him noticing.

And more than anything, when the romance is over and you’re sitting at a table, what’s there to do but awkwardly look at each other? You’ve seen those couples. But! When you’re at a bar or a counter, the action is straight ahead: The kitchen getting your dinner ready, the bartender making drinks. It’s a conversation starter—a conversation that might even reignite the flame that has been snuffed after years of sitting together at too many tables.

Not to mention, if you two agree to sit at the counter, it’ll cut your wait time in half and waiting at Tacolicious on a Friday night often means amongst hordes of guys high fiving each other. Gentlemen: You don’t want that for your lady friend.

And finally, Thea will be so, so happy. Just look at her.

So, today, I ask you: Please reconsider the bar. It’s the place where two is truly company. I rest my case.